Understanding Helga
by paleMistress
Summary: Helga is not allowed to go home...and Phoebe is out of town. Who will take her in? Gee, I wonder... :) ~*~FINAL CHAPTER IS UP!~*~ R&R Please! ^_^
1. Bring her Shelter from the Rain

I know, I know...I SHOULD be working on Hidden World... but, hey, what can I say?  
I'M A PROCRASTINATOR! (um, sp?) Besides, this story came to me, and I just had  
to get it down! Hehehe...I'm starting my second Hey Arnold Fanfic. I'm so proud!  
Disclaimer- If I owned Hey Arnold... You would've seen my Fic's on the show!  
  
Understanding Helga  
Chapter one- Bring her Shelter from the Rain  
  
I can't even look at him right now.  
He's off in the corner, fawning over Lila as she wraps him around her finger. I, however, simply  
try and ignore this pathedic show, look down at my lunch and do my best not to puke.  
"Look girls, Arnold's making a fool of himself with Lila again!" giggled Rhonda cruely,  
"You'd think he could take a hint." sighed Nadine sympathedicly,  
"He certain does seem enamoured of her." Phoebe chimed in,  
"I sorta feel sorry for him," was Sheena's reply. I remained silent. Pretended not to hear what  
they were saying, maybe if I just make myself out to be invisible for now, they'll go on  
to the next topic and leave me out of this one  
"What do you think, Helga?" Rhonda asked me. Damn. Now I'd have to speak against my Love.  
I shrugged, "He's a Footballheaded idiot, whadda'ya want me to say?"  
Rhonda was about to respond when who should walk near our table with Lila, carrying her lunch  
tray like the brainless servant Lila turns him into every time she's near him. He gives her  
the tray, they exchange a few words that I can't hear, and he jogs off to the boys table  
while Lila takes her seat with us. Rhonda covers her mouth, trying to make her laugh not too obvious,  
"Don't you ever get tired of Arnold tagging along beside you everywhere, Lila?" she asked, Lila looked at her,  
"Why, I'm just ever-so sure that I haven't the silghtest idea as to what you're talking about, Rhonda."  
"Where talking about how Arnold seems to bow to your every whim." explains Phoebe,  
"Oh, he's just ever-so kind, isn't he?" Lila says. For some reason, she's looking at me. What does she want  
me to say? She has this look in here eye's, I've seen it once or twice before. This sort of smug, I-have-something-  
you-can't look. Normally, this would bother me. But today, I feel drained. Lila see's this, so she tries harder,  
"Why, he's just ever-so sweet, he asked me to the movies after school today!" she said, sweeter then  
sugar, and more annoying then nails down a chalkboard. Steady, Helga ol' girl, just keep on looking   
at the table. There is nothing but the table. Just breath, it'll be over soon.  
"Ohhhhh...you mean like a date?" Rhonda inquires,  
"It sound's like it." put in Sheena  
Lila giggles, "Girls, you know I don't like Arnold that way." I want to scream, 'then why are you leading him   
on like that, Ms. Sunshine n' Lollipops?!?!' I want to grab her by the pigtails and give her one, good kick  
for messing with my Love's mind and making me feel so low.  
That's what I want to do. But if I do it, Lila'll spill my secret faster then I'll be able to transfer schools, I'm sure.  
So I just sit there, perfectly quiet, not listening to anything but the blood pounding in my ears. Until I feel  
a tap on my shoulder. It's Phoebe. I turn to her, the rest of the table is eyeing me strangly,  
"Are you feeling alright, Helga? You've been rather quiet throughout this whole conversation."  
"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired." is my answer, and everyone goes back to what they were doing.  
The rest of the day passed normally, I was mean to Arnold, Arnold flirted with Lila, it was a huge, never-  
ending doom-circle. I know, I'm a huge downer. Pescimistic doesn't even begin to describe how I' ve   
been feeling lately. All my recent poems are so depressing, even I cant read them. Hiding my secret has  
become a full time job, and I'm exhausted. I get on the bus with Phoebe and start joking and laughing about  
something. It's not my real laugh, it's the mean laugh I use when I really don't find anything funny, but have  
to make out like I'm amused anyways. I don't think I've really laughed in a while. Haven't cried, either. But then  
again, I'm not supposed to cry, am I? I'm Helga G. Pataki, I have no emotions, I'm the meanest girl in fourth grade.  
That's what I hear people say, and I actually take it as a compliment. If they can't see who you are, if you don't  
let them in, then they can't hurt you. Take my parents, for example. Why do you think I distance myself from them?  
Sure, it hurts that Bob loves Olga more then me and Mirium's a smoothiecholic, but THEY don't have to  
know that. I say bye to Phoebe and get off the bus when It reaches my stop. My walk is slow, I'm in no hurry  
to get where I'm going. When I finally reach my house, I notice there are some carmara van's outside. Hmmm...  
maybe this day is gonna be interesting after all. When I get to the door, someone opens it. It's Bob,  
"Oh, Olga, you're home."  
"It's *Helga*, Bob."  
" Right right..." he turns back inside the house, still blocking the doorway, "Dammit, Lenny, I said I want the  
lights back to the left! PUT THE LIGHTS WHERE I SAY IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET CANNED!"  
"Uh...Bob?" he looks down at me,  
"Oh, yeah. Listen Olga, I'm shooting a comercial here. You know, the Beeper King's 'Family' and crud like  
that. Murray said the consumer's would eat it like yesterday's pizza. Well, anyways, I've decided to spotlight  
Olga as our daughter, so since we only need to shoot one child, you're gonna have to stay at that friend of  
yours' house." Bob looked over his shoulder again,  
"But Bob...  
"Oh Baby Sister!" I hear, It's Olga, talking to me over Bob's shoulder, "Isn't it just wonderful?!"  
"But..." I try to say, but Olga walks away, sqealing something about makeup,  
"Well, you'd better get going Olga, you can't be in the way here." says Bob blunty,  
"But!" I say one more time, but it's to late. Bob slammed the front door closed, at it locked with finality.  
"...Phoebe's out of town for the weekend." I mumble to the brass knob. I trudge my way down the  
steps and begin walking. Where am I going? I don't know. I can't stay at Phoebe's, and no one else likes  
me enough to let me stay for the night... I shake my head, I can't worry about that now. I'll worry about it when  
I have to. Right now, just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other...and not crying. This train  
of thought continues for a while until I see Harold, Stinky Gerald and Sid. I keep my head down, pretend  
I haven't seen them, but it's usless,  
"OHHHH LOOOK! IT:S HEEEELLLLLLLLLGAAA!" Ah, Harold, alway's the one with inteligent comments.  
"WHERE YOU GOING, HELLLLGAAA?! AWAY FROM YOU'RE STUPID FAMILY?!?!"  
"Can it Pink-Boy!" I shout back  
"AHAHAHAHA! I BET THEY DON'T EVEN WANT YOU BACK!!!"   
I look at him, straight in the eye. He suddenly looks terrified. I snapped. I pounced on him and, somehow,  
throw him agaist a wall. I curl my hand around his throat and push as hard as I can, blinded by rage,  
"What did you say?!?!" I snarl, "Say it again, Pink-Boy! C'mon, I DARE YA!"  
"Helga, man, let him go!"   
"You're gonna kill him!"  
"Dang, girl, whadda'ya doin'?!" Is what I hear in the background. I just growl in return and keep my gaze steady on  
Harold, who's having trouble breathing. What am I doing? Why arn't I letting go? My mind is tellling me to,  
but...my pride... my pride won't let me. What Harold said is right, and I can't take it.  
"Helga?" I hear I gentle voice from behind me. I wince. No, not him, anyone but him.  
"Stay out of this, Footballhead!" I sneer at Arnold. I feel his hand on my shoulder,  
"You don't want to do this, Helga." he inform's me, "You're really hurting Harold."  
"I said stay..."  
"HELGA!" he order's, pushed beyond his natural limits, "Let him go...please?" I cave. My death grip loosens on   
Harold and he can breath again. Then, my hand slips away totally. Arnold pulls his hand away. I don't even look  
at any of them, I just walk away as fast as I can. No one follow's me. Good. I at last end up in the park, It's   
around sunset, but there's no sun, the sky's as black as coal smoke, and it start's raining. I just stand there, in the  
middle of the park, watching everyone run back to thier warm houses until the place is empty. I look around. Benches.  
Trees. Grass. Well, I suppose I could make it my home for tonight. I have no where else to stay. The rain  
start's comeing down harder, seeping through my skin, deep into my bones. Every part of me drips and it's  
pouring so much now that I can't even open my eyes without tilting my head down. But I stay where I am.  
A dangerously close bolt of lighting pierce's the sky, but I stand my ground. I hope I get sick, I want to get  
sick, I deserve to get sick. I hurt Harold today, out of my own hate. Maybe no-one thinks I care. But I do.  
I don't want to hurt anyone...it's just that they all hurt me.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
As I'm walking back home from dropping off Lila at her house, I pass the park, and that's whe I see her, Helga.  
Why is she just standing there like that? People are running past her, but It's like she's in her own world. She's  
getting soaked all the way through, but she just keeps on standing there. Like she's wearing an invisible shield so  
that the rain won't affect her. Something must be wrong. I had never seen her like she was today. She was ready to kill  
Harold, and the guys said he didn't even do anything but the usual. I realize I've stopped walking, so I begin to   
make my way over to her. The rain's seriously starting to come down now, and my hair is plastered to my head.  
I knew I should've brought an umbrela! Suddenly, a loud streak of lighting illuminate's the sky. I jump, but Helga  
just keeps still. What's going on with her? Part of me says to stay out of it--that Helga'll just pound me if I try  
to help her...but then there's this other part. I guess you could say I sort of have a soft spot for her, I don't think  
she's what she appears to be. When I finally get there, I stand beside her,  
"Helga?" I ask, she has her head down, and truns to me coldly,  
"What do YOU want, Arnoldo?" she say harshly, I look her squarly in the eye, trying to find somthing other then hate,  
"What are you doing out here?"  
"None of your business." she replies bluntly, shifting her eyes back to the ground,  
"It's pouring, you're gonna get sick." I try to reason. She scoffs,  
"What do you care, Footballhead?"  
"I--"  
Look," she inturupts, "Go home, Arnold, I can take care of myself." that's when I notice what's under the venom  
in her voice. She sound's so sad. I touch her arm, trying to comfort her. God, she's freezing! She pulls away from me,  
"Helga, you're cold!" I tell her, "Where's your coat?"  
"I didn't bring it with me this morning, Doi!" What? How does that make sence?  
"Didn't you take it when you left your home?" I question, just what was going on?  
"I--I--" she start's, but doesn't seem to know how to finish,  
"Did you even go home?" I don't really feel the rain now, at least I have my jacket.  
I just want to know what's going on. First Harold, now this, they must be connected.  
"What's it to you, Footbal--"  
"Did you?!" I demand. It's always so frustrating talking to her. She only let's so in so far, and then you hit a wall.  
"Yes, ok! Crimany!" she yells back, "I just didn't go in the house 'cause Bob wouldn't let me!" her eyes widened,  
like she had just told me a dangerous secret. Maybe that's because she had,  
"Why wouldn't your dad let you in?" I asked her, after a long pause. She looked at me and rolled her eyes,  
"He's taping a family commercial." she stated, okay, now I'm really confused.  
"So...arn't you his family?"  
"How clever of you, Head-boy. Boy he doesn't want me there. He wants the focus on Olga." I see what looked  
like the shimmer of tears in her eyes, but she shook her head and it was gone before I could really notice it.  
"So, he told me that I had to stay at Phoebe's for the night so I could stay out of thier way." I feel my mouth  
drop open as realization finally dawns on me,  
"Phoebe's out of town." I whisper to her.  
"Doi." she says flatly. I look at her. Her soaked clothes cling to her body and her skin had lost all it's colour. Her  
matted hair sticks to her neck and her eye's look dead. Helga, the everlasting pilliar of strength...has crumbled.  
"Where are you going to stay?" I ask her. She smirks ruefully and looks down at me,  
"I'll worry about that when I have to."  
"You can't stay here!" I exclaim, don't ask me how I know she was thinking of it. She crosses her arm's,  
"Yeah?" she says, "And why not?" she abruptly turns and walks away. I run after her, taking off my coat.  
When I catch up to her, I grab her by the arm and she whips her head around,  
"Helga!" I say, trying to sound stern, "You're coming home with me, I can't let you sleep here." She looks   
at me oddly, like that was the last thing she expected me to do. I take my coat and put it over her, but  
she just continues staring act me, awestruck. Hasn't she ever had an act of kindness done to her?  
"C'mon," I say, guiding her away gently by the arm, "Dinner should be almost ready."  
Her eyes glow with an emotion I can't quite place, "Arnold...I--Well I-- I mean..." she tries to say,  
I just hold up my hand to her and chuckle,  
"You're welcome, Helga, You're welcome."  
  
When we got to the Boarding House, we were looked like the definitions of 'what the cat dragged in.'   
It had been a pretty silent walk to Sunset Arms with Helga, but I didn't really think anything needed to be said.  
I actually found myself angry at her parents. Why would they do that to her? Didn't they care?  
"Hey Shortman!" Grandpa said. Then spotting Helga, who was actully sort of shying behind me, looked at me,  
"Who's you're little friend?" he asked with a gleam in his eye. I looked at him sckepticly, he knew who Helga was!  
"Umm...Grandpa, you know Helga, don't you? She's going to sleepover." I feel my cheeks burn. Am I blushing?  
"Ohhh...well good to see you, Helga." he says to her with and odd little grin,  
"Thank you." she says back. My mouth nearly hits the ground. Why was she acting so timid?! That's not the  
Helga I know!...But, then again, do I know the real Helga? My Grandma decided to make her grand entrance  
then.....Oh God. She's wearing a Toga.  
"Kimba, you're home! Did you have fun with Lady Godiva?" Lady Godiva? I guess that mean's Lila.  
"Uh... Yeah Grandma." I answer, Helga tilt's her head in confusion,  
"Kimba?" she asks to no one, looking my Grandma over. Oh no, this can't be good. Grandma looks at her and smiles,  
"Why, Helena! I wasn't expecting you!" She say's to Helga, "How is Demitrius? Are Hermia and Lysander well?"  
I look over to Helga, and she seems to be trying to put the pieces together. I was expecting the worst  
possible snide remark when...she suddenly...smiles?!?!  
"They're well, thank you. But I'm afraid I haven't seen Bottom the Weaver since He was the noble Pyrimus in  
that hilarious Comedy-of-error's shown at the wedding. Nor Oberon, nor Puck, I'm sad to say." she said  
in a kind, noble-ladies voice. Grandpa and I almost collapsed on the floor.  
She was playing along?!?!  
Grandma nodded and curtsied, and I was floored when Helga did the same. Grandma then looked at me,  
"You and Helena had better get changed, Kimba. You'll catch your death in those clothes." she said.  
"Your Grandma's right, Shortman...as insane as that may sound." Grandpa said. Helga pealed some  
of the fabric off her skin and grimaced, "This is sorta the only change of clothes that I had." she said to  
the floor. I smile at her and lead her upstairs,  
"Don't worry, you can borrow some of my stuff." I say sheepishly. Am I blushing again? She looks at me for  
a moment, searching my eyes to see if I'm telling the truth and...wait a second... is she blushing too?!  
"Yeah, ok." she says softly. We climb the attic stairs and I open the door to my room,  
"By the way," I ask, rumaging through my closet, "What was all that Puck and Oberon stuff?" Helga laughed,  
a laughed I had never heard from her before,  
"Your Grandma was taking character's out of the play 'A Middsummer Night's Dream'... you know,   
William Shakespere? I've read it a couple of times... so I kinda knew what to say."  
"You read Shakespere?" I say, climbing deeper into the doom pit that was my claset,  
"Uh-huh. Oh, and do you know who Lady Godiva is?" She says, again laughing.  
"No...who?"   
"Well...I think it was some girl who rode her horse naked around the villiage she lived." I fell out of the  
closet and looked up at Helga, who was standing in the middle of my room, drip-drying  
"WHAT?!?" I said, laughing a little,  
"Hey, I'm only telling you what I know...Footballhead." We both laughed. I tossed Helga a pair  
of jeans that were too big on me and one of my flannel shirts. I take my change of clothes and go to the door  
"You can change in here, Ok?"  
"No problem."  
"After you're dressed, just come downstair's...I'm sure dinner's already done. And besides, if you  
don't to the table a bit early...you sort of have to fight for your food."  
she quirks a grin, "Got it." she says, "And...Arnold?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Really...Thank you."  
I nodded and shut the door, folding my clothes over my arm as I headed for the bathroom. I smiled at  
nothing as I headed down the hall. Helga G. Pataki was sleeping over at my house, and she had thanked  
me for it. She played along with Grandma and made me laugh. She read Shakespere. And there was somthing  
about her laugh...  
I shook my head and chuckled silently. I wasn't quite sure what would happen tonight. But I knew it would  
be anything but ordinary!  
  
~*~End of Chapter One~*~  
Wheeeeee.....Yes people, I am Insane. Starting two stories at once! Oh well, gotta get cracking for  
the next two days! I only plan to do one mor chapter of this story cuz'... well, look at the size of this Baby!  
Chapter five of Hidden World'll be up soon, cross my heart!   
DON'T FORGET TO R&R! FLAME IF YOU GOTTA, JUST DON'T FORGET YOUR SAFTY GOGGLES!  
Wishin' u'  
Luv  
Life   
Luck  
n' Lafta'  
~*~C.D~*~  
  
  



	2. And just What do you Know About me, Arno...

  
Okay, people, here it goes... the second chapter of Understanding Helga!   
And, uh guy's... I'm not sure, but this may not be the last chapter. Let's wait and see...  
:::Says a little prayer::: I hope this is good...  
:::Chanting::: Please don't hate it, Please don't Hate it...  
And AWAY we go! ^_^...  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Hey Anrold, but personally, I wanna Adopt Helga! I think she need's a hug!  
Oh... and the poem in this chapter? It's MINE!!! Hehehe...  
  
~*~Understanding Helga~*~  
Chapter Two- And Just what do you Know about Me, Arnold?  
  
Okay, come on Helga, steady girl. Just don't think about it. Don't think about the fact that this very second   
you're putting on clothes that he's worn...that have touched his skin. As I finish buttoning up the shirt, I feel  
myself getting dizzy from extacy. I look down at the jean's Arnold gave me. I had expected them to be highwater's  
on me, but they actually fitted just right. I'm guessing they're huge on him. I take out my pigtail's, untie my bow and   
shake out my hair. Grabbing a piece of it, I see the end's are starting to curl. I give a frustrated sigh and comb  
my fingers through my mop of unruly blonde waves. I don't quite understand where I got the wave's from.  
Mirium and Olga both had nice, flat hair, why couldn't I just follow suit? Out of habit alone, I reached  
into the shirt for my locket, and felt nothing but the soft material. I cover my mouth in surprise and, getting down   
on my knee's, pulled my dress up from the floor and dug through the pocket I had sewn on the inside. Ha! There  
it is! I extract my most precious possesion and look at it for a moment. For some reason, I don't really feel  
like spouting off poetry to it. After all, I have the real thing downstairs! And that's when it really hits me.  
I'm going to be spending the night here.  
I fall backwards from my kneeling position and land on the floor with a quiet *thud*. I was actually staying the  
night. I can't help but wonder what great Saintly deed I did to deserve this. Did I save a person's life while  
I wasn't looking? I went through what had happened today, to see if I had done anything worthy of this kind  
of reward. School, the bus, Bob slamming the door, almost killing Pink-Boy, The Park, the Helena thing...  
Oh no.   
What have I done? This is bad. I had been different ever since Arnold wrapped his coat around me  
at the park. I had been calm, I had been relaxed, I had been shy, I'd been...  
Me.  
But, no! He can't see that! No one can! I can't let him hurt me anymore then he already does. He'd hate it, He'd...  
I thought back to a few minute's ago. I'd made him laugh. He'd smiled at me. Would he really hate me anymore  
then he does now? In truth, I had liked playing along with his Grandma. At least she was willing to play. My  
parents had never played with me. The only game they ever took pleasure in was 'Shine Olga's Trophies'. Maybe  
I could at least try to be real...just for tonight...just as a break. I'm so tried of bending over backward's to hide  
who I truly am. I'm entiltitled to a night off after six years, right? Besides, if Arnold got in too deep, I could always   
snap back to how I usually am. Somtimes, it's useful to have total control over your emotions...  
Wait... total control? Humph, that's a joke. Okay, at least partial control.  
So, what to do... Should I act the way I've always dreamed of acting towards my beloved, or do I simply take  
the stage and do as I'm expected?  
Suddenly, I here a dinner bell and Arnold's Grandma shouting "SOUP'S ON!!!" Crimany, I always space out at  
the worst times. Shoving my locket, pink ribbon and hair ties in the front jean pocket, I gather up the sopping   
wet mass of pink and white material and head downstairs. The hall looks quiet and desserted. Everyone must  
be downstairs already. I walk down the second set of stairs and turn into the kitchen. People are rushing to find  
thier seats and I look at the table. I had never seen so much food in all my life! There was a huge turkey, and it   
wasn't even Thanksgiving! There was rice and potatoes and every vegtable I knew of, and a few I didn't. This   
was nothing compared to my house, where the menu was near-raw bleeding steaks, undercooked potatoes and   
tastless soups. And that's when you got a dinner out of Mirium!  
"Why, hello Helena!" said the Grandma walking up to me. I smiled and bowed my head like any good 'Athenian   
Noble', "Hello," I answered. She took the bundle of clothes from me and started down the hall,  
"Now, you go find a seat with Kimba. This dress'll be clean'n' dry in no time." I grinned. Why does she call Arnold  
'Kimba'? It's actually kind of cute. Arnold, my true love, also known as Kimba, the great jungle warrior.   
"Helga?" I heard a slightly stunned Arnold say from behind me. I turned around to face him. He looks just like he  
always does, adorable. But why is he looking at me like that? Do I look that bad?  
"What?" I say, letting annoyence creep into my voice.  
"I--I've just never seen you with your hair down." I almost laughed. If he knew what a lie that was!  
"Yeah, well don't get too emotional, Footballhead..." I begin. But I smile, remembering his Grandma,  
"Or...should I call you 'Kimba'?" I ask jokingly  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
My eyes nearly pop. No matter how much I try and force it down, I'm smiling so much that it hurts,  
"Should you what?!" I ask amusedly, she grins and shrugs,  
"Thought you might wanna break from 'Footballhead', Arnoldo." I shake my head,  
"Whatever you say Helga," I hear myself saying "Whatever you say."  
"You'd better bielieve it." she retorts. I motion for her to follow me and I manage to clear a path from the many people  
scurrying for seats to find us two of our own near the head of the table. As she was about to sit down, I took  
another look at her. My shirt and jeans are actully baggy on her, and she didn't do up the buttons on the cuffs of  
the shirt. Her bow and pigtail's were gone and her hair, which was air-drying, actully looked... kind of nice, all loose  
and sort of hanging down in a complex sea of waves. I don't know wheather she realize's it or not, but she keep's on   
pushing this lock of hair from out of her eye, behind her ear. From out of her eye...why is that familiar?  
"Hey, you gonna sit down, Arnold?" Helga's voice inturupts my thoughts. I sit down beside her quickly, and   
Oskar takes the seat next to her, looking at her with slight dissapointment,  
"Oh no! Grandpa, there is another mouth to feed! I will starve to death with these people eating all the food!"  
"Oskar!" cried Suzy, horrified. I felt my mouth sink into a frown,  
"Mr. Kokoshka!" I said in a warning tone. Helga just watched on with a fascinated look.  
"Aw, keep your trap shut, ya' Bum." yells Grampa to him, taking his seat at the head of the table, "And don't  
call me 'Grandpa'!" Mr. Potts took the seat across from Helga and glared at Oskar,  
"Oskar, ya' Rat, leave the girl alone. It's not her fault you're a good-for-nothing who eats too much!" Ernie thrust  
his hand across the table at Helga and smiles, " Ernie Potts, demolishsion man extraordinare." Helga met his hand  
halfway and shook it, "Helga Pataki." she says simply. Suzy nods to her and smiles,  
"I'm Suzy, and this is Oskar." she says, motioning to Mr. Kokoshka, who's about ready to pounce on the Turkey,  
"I am, Mr. Hyunh." says Mr. Hyunh in his usual thick accent, taking a seat next to Ernie. Grandma come's into the room,  
"And I'm Lizzie Bennet!" she annouces happily. Grampa rolled his eyes,  
"SURE you are, Pookie... Now, enough with this introduction stuff and let's eat!" and with that, the fiasco began.  
The boarder's attacked the turkey and the other dishes like starving Lion's, and I was lucky to come out of the  
mess with my hand. When I looked at Helga, though, I saw that she already had a little of everything on her plate.  
How did she do that?! I've been trying to master that skill forever! But I notice she doesn't eat very much. During  
dinner, the conversation was the best it had ever been. No one fought, they were to busy talking to Helga. She  
was still playing along with Grandma, (when she wasn't looking, Helga whispered to me, "Lizzie Bennet's from  
the book 'Pride and Prejudice'.") and asked her about her sister's Kitty, Jane, Mary and Lydia. Mr. Hyunh   
was flattered when Helga said that she'd liked his song 'The Simple Thing's', and sung a sample of a new song  
he was working on, 'The Free Life'. Mr. Potts took to her better then I've seen him take to anything, and was  
overjoyed to tell her the story of every building he'd ever demolished. Grandpa once asked what it was like being   
the daughter of the Beeper King, but Helga only said, "Bob doesn't usually mix his family with his work...unless  
it'll sell more beepers." I watch her as she's listening to Suzy talk about when she was a kid. I've never seen this  
Helga before. She smiles and laughs at what Suzy just said. Her teeth are really white. It's like she has this mask  
that she wears. A mask of the mean, angry Helga I see everyday. A mask that she can take off at will, and show  
her to be...well, different. At the moment, Oskar makes a quick grab for the last drumstick that Ernie is reaching for,  
and quickly snaches it from his grasp. Ernie begin's to fume,  
"Kokoshka, ya' low life! I was going for that!" Oskar set the drumstick on his plate,  
"Oh, but Ernie, I am so hungry. With the little girl here, I didn't get enough to eat. Heheheh..."  
"Oskar, just give him the Turkey." Suzy sighed in exasperation.  
"But Suzy, I--"  
"Here you go, Mr. Potts." said Helga. We all looked to her. She was holding out the drumstick, which she had   
somehow managed to steal from Oskar's plate when he wasn't looking, to Ernie. He grabbed the leg and  
hooted with laughter, Helga looked at Oskar smugly,  
"By the way, Bucko, the name's Helga." she corrected. Ernie tore into the leg,  
"Hey Helga, how'd you do that?" he asked with his mouth full, "I didn't even see you move!" Helga grinned,  
"Practice." she said shortly, and left it at that. After every morsel of food was eaten and the boarder's had  
retreated back to thier rooms, I lead Helga back upstair's, but my curiosity still got to me,  
"Hey Helga?" I said as we went up the attic stairs,  
"Yeah?"  
"How did you get that drumstick off of Oskar's plate? He gaurds his food with his life."  
"I TOLD you, Footballhead, practice."  
"What kind of practice?" I asked while holding the door to my room open for her. She rolled her eyes upward and  
shook her head, "Why? You want lessons?" she asked me sarcasticly. But it wasn't the hateful, I'm-better-then-you  
sarcasim she usually used. It was just a friendly joke. I closed the door and laughed,  
"I could use them, I barely get a chance to eat." I say, Helga falls on the couch and looks up at the sky,  
"You should try over at my house. Somtimes they forget to make me anything, so I have to steal off Bob's plate."  
I tilt my head and start walking to her. They what?  
"They forget to make you food?" Helga's eyes bulge and she looks around the room, distraught,  
"Um, well, you know...it's just somtimes...uh...It doesn't matter, I don't care." she says, trying to sound cold and distant.   
I don't buy it anymore, though. I sit down next to her, and she inches away. Why is she always afraid when  
I get close to her? Come to think of it, why is she afraid when anyone tries to get close?  
"How often do they forget?" I whispered. She looked down at her hands, like she'd written an answer on them,  
"I--they--" she let out a frustrated sigh, "I can take care of myself." she says finally. I shake my head,  
"Helga, that doesn't matter. Parents are supposed to be there to take care of you, even if you don't need it."  
she looks at me saddly, "Maybe in your world, Arnoldo. But not all people are like that." I look at her oddly.  
That can't be right, all parent love thier children, don't they? Helga give's me a pitying look and sighs,  
"You don't get it, do you Arnold? Some people just don't care, and you can't make them. Sure, they'll pretend to   
care for a while, but they switch back to who they truly are soon enough. My parent's are those kind of people.  
Maybe a long time ago it used to bother me, but I'm used to it now." She flung herself off the couch and headed for  
my computer chair. I got up and ran my fingers through my hair in exasperation. Why is she being like this?!  
"Helga, I know you and--" she suddenly turned around and glared at me, laughing at the same time,  
"You know me, huh?" she questioned, "And just what do you know about me, Arnold?" she crossed her  
arms and waited. I racked my brain. Helga, the bully. Helga, the one who throw's spitballs at me. Helga,  
the one who had been mean to me since the age of three... and that's when reality sunk in.  
I've known Helga for six years--SIX YEARS-- and still know virtually nothing about her. This is one of  
the few time's I've ever seen her acting like a real person. A person with true feelings. She scoffs almost silently,  
"All you see is the Pigtail's and the Pink Dress." she tells me, "All you see is a Pataki. And maybe that's good.  
Maybe it's best that you never see who I am. But I'm so much more then what you think." she turns away from  
me and sits on the chair. I stay where I am, frozen to the spot in shock at the passion in her voice.  
"So show me." I finally say. she truns the chair until she's facing me again,  
"What?"  
"You say you're so much more...show me." she tries to gesture a response with her hand's,  
"Arnold...I--you don't get--" she lets out a sharp breath, "It's not that easy."  
"Why not?"  
"Because it..." she stops there, and looks up at me from across the room. She's looks thoughtful for a moment,  
then a slow, secretive smile creeps across her face,  
"Where do you keep the paper and pens?" she asks. Huh? That was the last thing I expected,  
"Uh...second desk drawer on the left." she nods and opens the drawer, taking out a piece of paper and a pen.   
She turns back to my desk and begins writing furiously, and I leaned to one side so I could watch her. She   
looked peaceful, calm, but so alive. Like something in her woke up just to help her write whatever she was writing.  
Her eye's looked almost wild as she scribbled on the blank sheet at a speed that amazed me. As if something   
in her took control of her and was doing the writing for her. When she was finished, she looked at the paper,  
reading it over, and shook her head, disapointedly. I was sad to see the fire gone from her,  
"Why are they so depressing?" she asks herself, and looked back up at me. She got up and walked back over  
to me softly, paper still in hand. When she reached me, she gingerly handed me the sheet. Like it was a fragile  
thing that would break any moment. She kept her gaze on me as I read what I now knew to be a poem that said:  
  
I live in the world of a thousand setting Suns,  
I weep by a fountain of blood and tears.  
I listen to the whisper of the most haunted sound,  
A silence that bubbles over my lips.  
I sleep in the world of the consious,  
I breath in the world of shattered dreams.  
My tears are my soul, pushed back for so long,  
let it out, let it out.  
And the truth will kill me someday,  
for I am still in love.  
A love that consumes me on the inside,  
and cuts me deeply--bleeds me dry-- from within.  
  
After I finish, I look up at her, and we lock eyes. Her eyes are usually clouded with contempt and mocking. But now,  
they're so open, so warm that it's almost overpowering. And I never knew anything could be that blue...  
"Helga..." I begin. I don't know what to say. How can I not know what to say? She give's me a wan smile,  
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Arnold," she says,   
"Thing's I'm not sure you'd want to find out."  
  
~End of chapter two~  
Okay, I'm an inconsistant. Ya know how I SAID I'd only post one more chapter? Well...no. Yes people, there  
will be more chapters... how many more? Your guess is as good as mine! I'm amazed by all the people who  
took the time to Review this.... THANK YOU SO MUCH! But how was this chapter? A little slow? I dunno...  
R&R! I'll post REALLY SOON, Promise! Wishin' u  
Luv  
Life  
Luck  
n' Lafta'  
~*~C.D.~*~  
  
  
  



	3. Some Enchanted Evening

Woo-Hoo! Chapter three...chatpter three!!! Happy Happy Joy Joy! I know this took a while, guys, but hey...  
What can I say? It's the begining of school... ever heard of HOMEWORK? :::Shudder::: When I become  
Important, I'm gonna ban that word! Alright, 'nuff of my rambling... ON WITH THE SHOW!  
Disclaimer- La di da....I don't own Hey Arnold...  
  
  
~*~Understanding Helga~*~  
Chapter Three- Some Enchanted Evening  
  
I hold my breath after I say that. What have I done? Pataki, you freak, how the heck do you manage to mess up  
in such a short period of time? Why couldn't I have just ripped up the poem? Why did I give it to him? Why did I  
write the thing in the first place? This anger's me to no end. How is it possible that I work so hard, day after day  
to become what I am, only to have it all shattered by a single--I'll be it wonderful-- boy in a matter of minutes?! He's not   
saying anything, not even moving. For a second I wonder if he's still alive. I know why. He's thinks I'm a depressive   
maniac. I've been begining to think that about myself lately, too. I head back to the desk chair. He's finally found his voice,  
"Helga...it's... it's--"  
"They didn't always used to be so sad." I inturupted quickly, "It's just lately it seems--"  
"Why didn't you ever let us know?" he cuts in. Let him know what?  
"Let you know what?"   
"That you could do..." he searches for the word, then points at the poem, "Well...this." I give him a sckepticle look,  
"Would you have cared?" somehow, I doubt it. Arnold looked at me incredously,  
"Are you serious?" he asks me, "Helga, I never knew you--never knew anyone our age-- could write like this."  
I winced, because he had just answered his question without knowing it. Why couldn't I let him know? Because he  
never knew me. He begins to walk towards me, closing the distance between us at a fast rate that I don't like. No,  
don't you get it, Arnold? The LAST thing I want right now is for you to be near me. Scary thing's happen when Arnold  
get's too close. A part of me just falls apart, and it's almost like it was never there. Coinciedently, it's that part of me  
that I need the most. The part that taught me how to be strong. He's not even a foot away from me now. Panic   
rises up my throat and I narrowed my eyes at him, hatefully, hoping cruelty would work. My hands are shaking.  
"How many more are there like this?" he questions, ignoring my cold stare completely. How many more? I think  
to the tens upon tens of poems written in my latest Pink Book. There were more then I'd ever like there to be.  
I gulped, "Not as many as the other's. But still a fair amount." I answered truthfully. Criminey, Helga, why did you say  
that? You know how to lie, you've been doing it most of your life!  
"Other's?" is his blunt question.  
"I told you, they arn't all sad." there's a lump in my throat, making it hard for me to swallow. I know the next question.  
"So, why are they now?" Yup, right on time. Okay, here's my chance. Just say 'What is this, twenty questions?!' and  
hopefully you'll be let off the hook. Caught up in the moment, I look him in the eye. Those perfect, pure green eyes.   
A green that would put all other's to shame. They flash with caring, and whatever I was thinking about a moment  
ago melted. I sit down on the chair, basicly because I no longer trust myself to stand,  
"Why shouldn't they be?" I mumble, still not breaking the gaze. He looks away and bits his lip.Wonder what he's thinking.  
"You're life's not all that bad, Helga." he whispered to a wall. WHAT?!  
"E-excuse me?" I stutter. He looks back up at me with saddness. Lord, what have I done NOW?!  
"At least you have parents." he said shortly. I sat in a coma. I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't just snap  
back a harsh response. That would be evil, even by my terms. So I said what came naturally,  
"Arnold," I began, "I may have parents, but, with the way they treat me, we might as well be strangers. You have  
two grandparent's that actually LOVE you, everyone likes you and you've never had to fight for what you wanted a   
day in your life." I touched his arm lightly, hoping that it would be some kind of comfort to him,  
"You think my life isn't that bad? Well, I'd trade it for yours in a New York second." I finished. We were silent,  
but he just kept on looking at me, urging me to explain myself, that same caring, concerned look in his eyes. I  
couldn't help but give in, so I spoke, slowly and cautiously, making sure that nothing slips out I don't want to,  
"Do you know that they have an entire room dedicated to Olga's trophies? They have volumes upon volumes  
of photo albums, home video's and shcool projects. Do you know how many pictures they have of me? About  
four, and those arn't even fully of me, I'm just standing beside Olga. Bob doesn't even know my name, he calls me  
Olga. I remember once when my Grandma sent me this little jewelerly box, and Mirium and Bob sent it to her because  
it was--and I quote--'Almost as precious as her'. The only time my mom's gone for any period of time without being  
wasted on smoothie's, she became a workaholic, and Bob just see's me as another mouth to feed. Ever since I was  
old enough to do things for myself, they shut me out completely. I mean, Criminey, I'm nine years old and I  
sometime's have to sew clothes out of Olga's hand-me-downs! Everyone wants me to be something. A Bully,  
A Winner, whatever! Don't you think I ever get tired of trying to make people happy?! Every competition I went  
in, do you think I did it for fun?! NO! I did it to prove to everyone that I'm not a complete nothing! But it never works!"  
I was yelling by now and gesturing wildly. So much for mantaining composure. He went and sat on his bed, looking at  
me with....oh God no. Not that.  
Pity.  
"Stop it!" I yell at him,  
"What?" he asks innocently.  
"I don't need your pity, Arnoldo!" I growl back. All my life, I have never wanted that awful four-letter word directed  
at me. When people pity things, they no longer see them as equal, they see those things that they pity as lower then   
them. Pity is for the pathedic that are too weak and lazy and feel too sorry for themselves to actully get up and do  
something about it. My whole life is practicly based around the fact that I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and my  
life, no matter how miserable it may be. I don't need anyones Pity but my own, thank you!  
"Helga, I didn't know..."  
"That's because I didn't want you to find out!" I snapped back, and we were silent. I spun the chair so that my back  
was facing him. I listened to my breathing, then his. It's calm and slow, he's thinking about something. Eternity  
passed, and still nothing was said. Season's changed, people grew old, and plants withered and blew into oblivion.  
Okay, maybe not, but it was still a long silence. And Arnold was the one to break it,  
"Have you ever told them?" he asked, shattering the quiet. I remained facing away from him,  
"I've tried a couple of times. But they either ignore it, or just start caring about me long enough so I'll shut up."  
Well, there was very little use in lying to him now, so I figure I may as well make him happy one way, since I've  
never been able to make him happy any other.  
"You can't make people care, they have to do that themselves." I tell him. I can feel him looking at me,  
"Helga, come here." he says gently. A strange feeling explodes in the pit of my stomach and spreads up into my  
arms and chest, weaking my body right down to my fingertips. I get up stiffly and walk to his bed until I'm standing  
there facing him. He takes my hand and pulls gently until he's got me sitting next to him. I don't think I can feel my  
legs. He's got me sitting so close. He's still holding my hand, and I have to grip the side of the bed to stay concious,  
"Helga, you know I care, don't you?" he asks. I look away quickly and he sqeezed my hand,   
"You don't really think you're nothing, do you Helga?" I somehow manage not to swallow my toungue and speak,  
"You--You care about--everyone, Arnold." I say, avoiding the last question "That's why everyone likes you."  
He gives me his half-smile, "You never seemed too big on me." he says back. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give   
you the world's biggest lie! If he only knew how big on him I was!  
"I've always liked you Arnold." is what I hear myself blurt out. WHAT?! No, did I say that out loud?!  
he looks at me in wonder, leaning in closer so were only centimeters apart. I breath in the scent of his shampoo  
and try to convince myself that this isn't one of my fantasies. That's when he speaks,  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
"You have?" I ask her in a whisper. How did I get this close to her? Did I do this, or did she? There's this  
strange look on her face. Like she doesn't believe I'm really here. I'm still holding her hand, and I begin running  
my fingers over hers as a distraction. A distraction from her eyes, which are looking at me in wide-eyed, bluer-then-blue   
innocense. I never knew she was like this. I never knew she did the things she did to make people happy. I never  
knew she thought so badly of herself. But then, I don't really know Helga, do I? Her free hand is holding on to   
the side of my bed for dear life. I wonder why?  
"Well--yeah, of course... I mean--I think you're ok...really ok." she stumbles. I grin, because she's cute when  
she does that. Wait a second...CUTE?! I mean...Well I mean... what do I mean? She smiles back at me and sighs,  
"Arnold, when I say all that stuff to you, don't take it personally, ok?"  
"I don't." I assure her, and she starts giggling. It's almost like her whole face lit up,  
"Even though you DO have a Footballhead!" she laughs. I raise my eybrow at her and smirk,  
"Oh really?" I ask jokingly. She nods, still laughing,  
"Well, there's a reason for that." I tell her. Helga stops and looks at me curiously. She reaches her hand up to push a few   
loose pieces of hair from her face...and acciedently brushes against my cheek instead. My stomach twisted in knots and I   
realize that we're still as close as were a few minutes back. We both move a little farther away, and I let go of her hand.   
I clear my throat, embarassed. She looks at me and smiles shyly,  
"So what's the reason?" she asked. Huh? Reason? Oh, I get it. I reach over, pull open one of the drawers of the  
shelf beside my bed, and take out the picture. It's a little worn from being handled so often. It's one of the most important  
things I own. The picture of me, Mom and Dad, taken just before they disappered. I looked at it for a moment,  
then showed it to Helga. She held one of the corner's, and, seeing my mother, smiled gently,  
"So it's hereaditary." she stated teasingly, and I laugh. She suddenly becomes somber. That's not how I want to see her,  
"What's wrong?" I ask her. She smiled warmly.  
"They look like great people, Arnold." she said quietly, "They'd be really proud of you." I felt my cheeks getting warm.   
She really thought that? I've never heard that from anyone but Grandma and Grandpa before. I didn't expect it from Helga.  
I have this...strange twinge inside every time I look at her now... I've never felt anything like it before. I'm not sure what it is.   
"You think so Helga?" I asked her, she nodded,  
"Diffenitly..." and then added, "After all...What parent wouldn't be proud of the Great Kimba?"  
I laughed and gave her a frienly smack on the shoulder.  
We continued to talk, about everything imaginable.  
  
~End of chapter Three~  
No people, this isn't THE END... there's more coming. Yeah, yeah, I know they were OOC. But when people realize  
they CARE about eachother...they don't exactly keep the same relationship as they did when they were enemies. This  
chapter was kinda short... maybe boring? You were expecting a Lipfest, werent'cha? Well... I'm drawing that  
sucker out for as long as I can!!! Next chapter'll be better as soon as the Homework dies down, promise!  
R&R...Pretty please? ^_^  
Wishin u  
Luv  
Life  
Luck  
n' Lafta'  
~*~C.D~*~ 


	4. Don't You?

YAY! JOY TO THE WORLD! A DAY WITH NO HOMEWORK! PAISE THE SAINTS! Hehehe... yup's, Im'a happie. In celebration of this most glorious day, I've decided to write chapter four. This chapter isn't gunna be much, I don't think, just sum more development. Just bear with me, kay? It'll make the ending all the more sweeter, promise! ^_~  
Disclaimer- My name ain't Craig. You know what that means.  
  
Understanding Helga  
Chapter Four- Don't you?  
  
We kept on talking, and somehow, I think we covered almost every topic imaginable. Then, about an hour into it,  
we finally got to a VERY touchy subject--for both of us....Lila.  
"I don't see why you don't like her." Arnold says,  
"I have my reasons." I say shortly,  
"Like...?"  
"LIKE...stuff that's none of your bussiness." I say,  
"But, she's nice, smart, funny...pretty" I bite my toungue when I hear this. You know, to keep from screaming   
something I may regret later. I narrow my eye's at Arnold,  
"Yeah, yeah, I know, everybody loves her...you especially." the second that slips out, I clamp my hand over  
my mouth and Arnold turns bright crimson. He looks down at his feet,  
"Is it really that obvious?" he asks me. Oh great, now I'm sitting here talking about the Love of MY Love.  
"Well, everyone knows, so how do you expect it not to be?" I scold him.  
"I guess--"  
"Especially when you let her drag you along like a little slave-boy! Carrying her lunch, going along with whatever  
she says! Heck, if she strapped a collar on you, the only difference would be that people would be able to SEE   
the leash she's got you by! And--uh..." I stop and look up at Arnold's horrified face. Babbling is not a good thing...  
not when you're doing it about little-miss-perfect.  
"Helga, I don't do that!" He defends. Oh please! Just who is he trying to kid? But that's when it clicks.  
He doesn't know he's doing it.  
"You don't know you're doing it." I breath in awe.  
"What do you mean?" He asks. Of course! It's just like me! Sometimes, when I follow Arnold, I don't know what  
I'm really doing until I'm standing there in a back alley. I've even found myself in the middle of one of my locket-  
sonnets, not really remembering how I got started! Or the way I can just get out of bed and automaticly go to  
my closet, even though I'm still basicly asleep! I wonder if ALL of humanity has a brain shut-off feature for when   
they fall in love. Wait, Love? Arnold...Loves Lila? Not just like-like's her? If he's doing the same thing as me...  
does that mean Arnold's in love with Lila? Arnold loves Lila... it might be the truth...  
"Helga...Helga? HELGA?!" His voice snapped me out of my dream state, and I look at him.  
"Um, what?" I say, stalling for time. Could he love her? Is it possible? What am I talking about?! Of coure it's   
possible. My one true Love has fallen for the Human equivilent of Mary-Sue Sunshine.   
"What did you mean by 'you don't know you're doing it'?" he asks me. Maybe I can convince him that I should go,  
this little epihphoney has gone far enough. I just want to go home so I can contemplate over why this life is worth  
living...I'm having trouble thinking up reasons right now. Arnold loves Lila, and It's all my fault. If I hadn't  
written that stupid message on the wall, everything would be fine. Or--at least as fine as it ever was.  
"Uh--Nothing, don't worry about it." I mumble. He looks at me strangly. Oh well, now or never,  
"Look, Arnold," I said, looking up at his sky-light ceiling, "It's cleared up... maybe I should go home...or something.  
I mean, I could always sneak in my window if they won't let me back in..." I didn't bother telling him that my  
window was locked. It wasn't that important. He took my hand and I inwardly swoon. I give myself a good  
mental slap. Let's remember Helga, he loves Lila, not you. Lila, not Helga.  
"You're not going anywhere, Helga." he says with....what is that tone? I scoff, my defences renewed,  
"You're not the boss of me, Footballhead!" I hiss, taking my hand back by force. My realization a few moments back  
has given me just the boost of anger I need. I'll get myself out of this house, one way or another. I always have.  
I watched as emotions flashed across Arnolds face. First hurt, then confusion, then frustration. His eyes narrow,  
"Stop it, Helga! You can't possibly expect me to beilieve that anymore!" he says hotly. Okay, getting a bit edgy here,  
"Believe what?" I say, trying to sound caulous and disjointed.  
"Whatever you're doing right now! Why are you getting so mad because I Liked Lila?!" Oh, jeez, I wonder why...  
Wait a second here... Liked? LIKED?! 'Liked' as in; 'I used to but don't anymore' Liked?!   
"Liked?" I say, and regret it the second it's out of my mouth. In that one word, I let hope trickle into my tone. I can  
only sit here and pray he didn't notice. Luckily, he was to caught up in his own confusion over what had been said,  
"I mean...still--I think...It's almost..." he was saying to himself, trying to work something out in his mind. He sighed,  
"I need some air." he stated, and then looks at me, "C'mon," he says, taking my hand again and pulling me off the bed,  
"Where're we going?" I ask. As if I didn't already know.  
"Up to the roof--If you want to." He says, smiling. I smile back. So much for my anger. Gone as fast as it came.  
You know what? Good ridence.  
He leads me up and I take a look at the view. I've always liked it up here, for all the times I've traveled to this place  
in the secret of night. You can watch people run by-- and they don't know you're here. It's like looking at the the world  
from a cloud. You're some neutral being, never interfearing, only watching the world unfold. It's makes you realize  
how small you are--that all these people that you see walking by have lives that have nothing to do with you. There's  
a full moon tonight, and it actually had a tinge of blue in it-- which to me had such laughable symbolism and irony that  
I didn't even bother to name it. I stared up at it and smiled. The moon had always made me feel better. To think that  
somewhere, far away, this little silver piece of perfection has taken it upon herself to provide the tides, a light  
for the inky night skies and an everlasting source of Romance. I sigh out loud dreamily. Now the only thing that's  
missing is...  
Here.  
Once again, I'm hurled into a rush of realization. Romantic full Moon in a quiet place away from people and  
anything that disturbs. I've dreamed of this a hundred times. Each time I'm with Arnold, and He's the one with something  
to confess. He would say those three small words to me, and I would admit everything. Thus, it would end with  
a promise of Happily Ever After. If only that could be true. But still, I have to be strong. Strenth is all I need.  
My mind suddenly informs me that he's watching me, and I turn around to face him. He's leaned against the raised  
part of the glass cieling, smiling. I felt my knees go weak and prayed that I wouldn't collapse,  
"What?" I say, laughing nervously.  
"What are you thinking about?" he asks, smile still intact. Oh, you know, just how much I love you.  
"Nothing, really." I lie, rubbing the back of my arm.  
"That's not true." he informs me. I laugh,  
"So you read minds now?" I joke, and he shrugs,  
"I wish. It would help a lot when I'm talking to you."  
"So I'm mysterious?" I say. He gives me a sideways glance. Like he's trying to figure something out,  
"It's just like you're always trying to hide something from me." he concludes. My stomach turned upsidown and I  
jumped a little. He was getting too close...every fiber of my being was telling me so.  
"I--I'm not hiding anything." I squeaked. He closed his eyes and shook his head,  
"The way you said that, you just proved that you are."  
"No, no! I have nothing to hide, what could I possibly have to hide? Nothing!" I backed away a little.  
"Tell me." he demanded in a friendly tone. I looked at the ground. I'm so tired of running circles around him to   
keep my secret just that. But it's too late, I'm too used to boarding up my feelings. He'll never know.  
"Can't." I reply gloomily. He approaches me,  
"Why not? If it's really that bad, maybe I can help." I almost laugh. You, help me Arnold? Not unless you're secretly  
hiding the fact that you're madly and desperatly in love with me.  
"You can't." I tell him,  
"But--"  
"Just leave it, ok?" I cut in. I tilt my head up and look at the moon. He stands beside me and does the same,  
"You're right about Lila." I hear him say out of the blue. I look at him, but he's still got his eyes on the sky,  
"What do you mean?"  
"When I'm around her--I've just been thinking about it-- I carry her lunch tray, her bag, her books... I do   
whatever she tells me. Come to think of it, I don't really ever get a 'thank you' from her. Just an 'Anold, you know  
I like you, but I just don't like-you like-you.'" he sighs confusedly, "I think I'm getting tired of it."  
"No you're not." I assure him. He can't be tired of it, that's impossible. He looks back at me and grins,  
"So now you can read MY mind?" he teases. I shake my head,  
"You have to like any attention she gives you. Good or bad, otherwise it's not Love." when I say this, his eyes  
widen and he raises an eyebrow at me.   
"Love?" he questioned, "You think I...Love her?" I shrug nervously,  
"Don't you?"  
"No." He answers simply, not even thinking twice. Something in me finally relaxed and I was able to calm down. I   
wanted to jump into his arms and hug him with every ounce of streanth I have. Bless the day! He doesn't love her! Wait,  
this means I have to say somthing to him now...somthing that isn't along the lines of 'Oh my Footballheaded love God,  
Happy be the day that you do not see the green-eyed snake, Lila, as your Love! Can you not see, my dearest? It is I  
who am intoxicated by your being! I who...'  
I should REALLY learn to stop doing that.  
"Oh, well..." I start to say, but Arnold starts again,  
"I mean, we're only in grade four...who do you know who's in love in the fourth grade?"   
I bit my lip to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Who do I know?! Let's think hard here. I feel a tinge of annoyence fizzle up inside me, and I look at Arnold stubbornly,  
"There could be people, you don't know for sure!" I say. Gee, that didn't sound incriminating at all.   
He shrugs and laughs, "Yeah, I guess." he agrees. I roll my eyes.  
Once again, I will repeat what I have said numorous time in the past.  
Dense. Absolutly lovable, but Dense.  
"Helga?"   
"Hmmm?"  
"Why can't it stay like this?" Okay, that threw me for one. What is he talking about? I give him a dull look and he smiles sadly,  
"Why can't you always be like this?" he elaborates. I look down and begin memorizing the collar of his shirt. I want it to stay like this, too. Why was I born a Pataki?! If he only knew how much I want to be able to talk to him like this every day. But I can't. I can't have people thinking I'm weak. Can you imagine what would happen if I suddenly became nice? People would walk all over me! Use me, abuse me and throw me away. That can't happen. I'll never give it the chance to.  
"Arnold--"  
"No, just listen." he inturrupts, "Helga, you're like this huge puzzle. I'm only working with so many pieces, but there's this one, gaping hole I'm missing in the most important place, I can tell."  
I gulp and pray for the power to breathe.  
"...I don't know what it is, and I wish I did. But Helga, you're...you're...I can't believe you can just cover yourself up like you do! You're...wonderful. Friendly, kind, soulful..." I keep on looking down. No, that isn't true, I'm none of that, am I? I'm glad it's night, because I'm sure my cheeks are burning a deep, crimson hue. His hand brushed against my arm and our eyes connected. Strange swirls of emotion pass through his eyes as he swallows hard and allows his lips to part,  
"Beautiful..." he whispers. My arms have subconsiouly been placed on his shoulders,   
"Arnold..." I'm not sure whether I said that aloud. His breath pushed little tendrils of hair away from my face. The heat is almost stifilling, the temption's unbearable. He leans in closer, and I begin to mouth the words 'I love you' but he shakes his head, siliencing me,  
"Beautiful," he says again with conviction, "Helga..." Please, let it happen. Please...  
I close my eyes. I can still feel his closness. His arms circle my waist.  
I hope.  
I pray.  
I wait.  
  
~~End of Chapter Four~~  
MUWAHAHAHA!!! How be 'dat for a cliffhanger, huh? Gotta let you people dangle, see if I can get someone bashing thier head against the screen in agony for the next chapter. By the way....WOWIE!!! I have almost a hundred reviews! Thanks to everyone who's writtin' them in, I'm REALLY flattered! :::Blushes::: I'll try and get chapter's out sooner!  
Untill soon, wishin' u...  
Luv   
Life  
Luck  
n' Lafta'  
~*~C.D~*~  
  
  
  



	5. Indescribible/ Cry into the Night

  
:::Ahem::: Drumroll, please. :::Drumroll::: Chapter Five! Yup, you people finally made me write it!!! :::Grumbles::: with all those please's (and a couple a' threats that got me a lil' more motivated.) So here goes, I'm guess you'd be wanting the story right about now. Could I have another drumroll? ^_^  
Disclaimer- FAN-Fiction. Note the word *FAN*  
  
~*~Understanding Helga~*~  
Chapter Five- Indescribable /Cry into the Night  
  
So close. She smells perfect. She IS perfect. I put my arms around her waist mindlessly. I'd love to say that I have some control over what's happening right now. But I don't, and I'm glad. Her lips brush against mine, and I've never felt anything so soft. But the energy! It sends a jolt through my body, and I pull away to make it stop. I have to, I'm not sure where all this raw power is coming from,  
"Helga!" I say, a little alarmed, when I've disattached myself from her. I already miss how warm she was...wait! No I don't! Hold on, what just happened?! Did I...Did I almost kiss Helga? Wait a minute, no! Our...we...against mine...touched. So--we kissed?! I kissed Helga G Pataki?! Or, did she kiss me? It feels like pure energy is pulsing through my viens, and even though I don't like it, I have to admit...I DID like it. Her cheeks are glowing and she studies the ground shyly. She's not the only one.  
"I....Arnold...What just....I..." she throws up her hands in exsaperation. I catch her eye and we stare at eachother. Her  
eyelashes flutter and I find myself hypnotized by the crystal-blue gaze that holds my own so steadily. I smile at her to  
try and dissolve the akwardness between us. And it works, a little. She smiles back weakly, and I clear my throat,  
"Maybe...we should go back inside." I say, not taking my eyes off hers for a second. Yes, that's a good idea. This  
evening setting wasn't do much to help calm these wierd feelings that suddenly threatened to spill over. Why haven't I ever  
noticed how...how...how completly captivating, how perfectly mesmorising she is until tonight? You'd think a personality  
like her's would show though anything, but she kept hers buried under all those things she hated so much. Her family,  
her life, her...self. Yes, she had said she was nothing. How could she think that? She was Nothing?! She was more  
then I ever thought she could be! She looks at me and nods, agreeing to what I had said. She brushes by me as she  
heads for the entrance back into my room, and I acciedently catch the scent of her. I think I may just go insane now.  
What's happening to me? Helga never had any affect on me before. She's just a girl. Actually, she's more like one of the  
guys with a pink dress. But the dress was gone, and she was DEFFINITLY not one of the guys. Ok, I just gotta  
snap out of it. It's just Helga. Just Helga who wrote that poem, who smelled so great, who had that pretty smile...  
ARGH! This is going nowhere! At least, nowhere I want to go...I think. What am I doing?! It was just an acciedent!  
Helga's proably forgot anything happened by now! And even if she didn't, she wouldn't care! Would she?  
I climbed back down to my room and found her lying nonchalantly on my bed, gazing up intently at the stars,  
"Nice, arn't they?" I comment, sitting down next to her casually. She looks at me and smiles,  
"Yeah, but I wish I knew something about the constalations...I don't even know where the Big Dipper is!"  
"You don't?" I ask. I thought most people knew that. Grandpa taught me the name of every constalation and its position.  
Helga shook her head, "Nope."  
I smiled and pointed at a set of stars, "That's the Big Dipper." I say. She followed my hand with her eyes and looked  
at the constalation, "Really?" she asks curiously.   
"Yeah, and that's the Little Dipper, and that's Cassiopia..." I begin, pointing to the other constelations in turn. I showed  
her more constelations, and she listened and watched me closly. I could only show her a few, because there was alot of  
'light pollution', as Grampa calls it. We talked more after that. I didn't know I could talk to a person this long without  
getting bored. Maybe it's because there's nothing boring about her. You know, she really is...well she's...she's...  
indescribable. And I thought Lila was amazing.  
Lila, oh yeah.  
I can't really think of what I saw in Lila to make me Like-Like her anymore. I mean, sure she's polite, but so are airline stewardesses. She's just so... permenetly happy. No one can be so satisfied with everything all the time. And she DOES  
drag me around all the time getting me to do things for her, like Helga said. I think that's what annoys me the most. I mean,  
if she doesn't like-me like-me, then why does she lead me along? Aw well, it doesn't matter now. I tried to   
keep my distance from Helga. I was actually afriad I would do something stupid like I did on the roof. But then...maybe  
it wasn't THAT stupid...It did feel...  
Ever wish you could shut your brain off?  
But it was kind of hard. I mean, we were sitting on the same bed! I caught myself a couple of times, holding her hand  
and sort of mindlessly playing with her long, slim fingers. She actually didn't seem to mind, so niether did I. Slowly,  
Helga's steady stream of conversation seems to end, and soon it's gone completly. I'm looking away from her, at a   
wall. Believe it or not, it's a good thing this happened, because a question has been at the back of my mind, bothering me  
for some time now,  
"Helga?" I call, but get no responce. I continue anyways,  
"Helga, you know when I asked you if I thought you were nothing? You never gave me an answer. I hope that's not  
what you think. You're one of the most amazing people that I've ever met, and I think I---" I turned around to face her  
at that moment, and I realised why she wasn't answering me.  
She was curled up next to me, fast asleep.  
I smile down at her, "I think I--" I whisper, but my thoughts stop there. You think you what, Arnold? I was about to tell  
her something in that one moment, but I waited too long and now I've forgoten what it was. I search my mind for the  
forgoten sentance, but I only come up with that familiar jump in my chest that comes from looking at her too long.  
I feel myself grin gently as I watch a smile play over her face. She must be dreaming. She looks so peaceful, so calm,   
so happy. Her hair spills down over her shoulders and my bedsheets while her chest rises and falls rythmaticly. I   
wonder if this is what Angels look like. It'd be a shame to wake her up now just so she can move to the couch. It won't  
kill me to sleep there for one night. I carefully get off the bed, making sure not to wake her. Cautiously opening my  
closet door, I take out a pillow and some sheets I keep on reserve for when Gerald sleeps over. While I'm setting up  
a makeshift bed, I glance at the clock. 2:06am?! No way! I wasn't talking to her for that long! Or at least...it didn't seem   
like it. Before I go to sleep, I cheeck on Helga one more time. She still has that sweet smile. I touch her cheek with   
my hand, to make sure she's really here. I feel her warmth on my fingertips and I sigh. This was real, this was Helga.  
"Goodnight, Helga." I whisper to her sleeping figure. She stirs a bit in her dream and breaths somthing inaudible.  
I turn off the lights and climb under the sheets on the couch.  
I fell asleep, not able to get the smile off my face.  
My last thoughts were of her.  
Helga.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I wake up with a warth that I had only dreamed about glowing inside of me. I'm laying on somthing soft, and I feel my  
cheeks burn when I realise what it is.  
Arnold's bed.  
I sat up and rubbed under my eyes. It's still nighttime outside. When I check the digital clock, I see that the neon  
indigo digits are beaming '3:27am' at me. What am I doing up?! What am I doing in his bed?! But most importantly...  
Where is he?!  
I hear someone sigh softly near me. I turn around, and find Arnold, sillouetted in the dark of the night, sleeping on the  
couch. I smile. Of course, he's much to gentelmanly to wake a sleeping girl up. Even if it is me. I hug my knees and tilt  
my head in thought, focusing on something I hadn't been able to when I was with him...  
That one...worderful...kiss...  
ARNOLD KISSED ME!  
...or, I kissed Arnold...Oh, who cares! The point is it happneed! No school play, no forced-into-it-because-it's-in-the-script,  
it was just because it happened! It was the most fantasic moment of my life! I don't think my feet touched the ground! I couldn't have told you what my name was! And it would've lasted longer if he haden't...if he haden't...  
pulled...away...  
He pulled away.  
He HAD, the second we touched, I remember it now! And then he had shouted my name to get me out of my trance.  
How could I have not have seen it earliar?! How stupid can a person be?! That's why it ended so fast! What a fool I am!  
He was proabaly thinking about Lila! Naturally, the only one worthy of his affections is the one he would picture!  
He didn't want to kiss me! He probably didn't want to be near me! How could I have thought anything different?!  
What am I doing here? Why did I stay? How could I let myself be lulled into this moronic dream. To think, I had   
myself believing that Arnold liked-me liked-me! Criminey! I'm an idiot! How could a person like Arnold LOVE me?  
I can't believe it took me until now to re-remember who I am!   
"I'm Helga G. Pataki." I whisper to the Dark, "The fourth-grade bully. I'm Helga G. Pataki, the one everyone loves to  
hate. The one no one is ever satisfied with. I'm nothing good, I'm nothing at all..." It was all true. They all saw right  
through me and let me pass them by. They never saw who I was. Only the Blonde Angel who sleeps near me now has  
every fully seen the true me. But even that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make him love me. I was never good  
enough for him! Oh Arnold, how dare you! I hand over my heart to you, and this is all that comes of it! But I know it's not  
his fault. Why should he care about me? I'm just the girl who treated him like trash for six years. He has no attachment to  
me whatsoever. I feel something wet slide down my cheek. Great, does the roof leak? I touch the wet spot with my   
fingers and find it's warm. Drops of water from outside arn't usually warm, to my knowledge. I touch the wetness to  
my toungue. It's salty. I finally feel the strange senstation in my eyes. No, it can't be...  
I'm crying?  
I thought I'd fogotten how to cry. But I am. I remember this feeling from so long ago. When I was small, this happened  
often. And I thought that the last of my tears had dried up forever when I was five. Why can nothing ever be forever?  
Why couldn't Arnold have left me where I was in the park? Why couldn't he have just let me suffer there, instead of  
letting me fall to pieces in his room? I try to get the steady stream of salty wet to stop, but to no avail. It only comes faster,  
more pronouced then before. That's because I know now. All my doubts from before are gone. Throughout our  
conversation he had held my hand, and it had made me hope. It had made me doubt the lonliness that I had and would  
assuredly spend my years in. But the doubt dissolved, and now there is only the knowledge of misunderstanding. Their  
misunderstanding for me, because truly, who could ever undestand Helga? I look into the darkness of the room, which   
reminds me so much of my state in life that I'm almost forced to smirk. I close my eyes painfully and breath,  
"I am Helga G. Pataki..." I annouce quietly to the silence, "...and nobody loves me."  
I continue to sob, the sound of my crying choked out by the nothingness that surrounds me.  
This would be the time I would wish for somthing.  
But I can't find anything worth wishing for, except what I cannot have.  
Love.  
Arnold.  
Hope.  
But what's the point of wishing, if all you'll ever do is wish?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I wake up when I hear the noise. It sounds so sad, but where is it comeing from? I turn myself over on the couch and  
look around the room. It's the sound of someone crying, and it's breaking my heart to hear. But there's only one other   
person in this room with me....  
No, it couldn't be Helga...  
Could it?  
I let my eyes adjust the the lack of light in the room and I see her, sitting up from my bed. The sound emminate's from her  
and I'm struck by the fact. I never thought she could, but she is.  
She's crying. Softly, and to herself, with no intention of waking me up. But she did. And there's no way I'm letting  
her go through this kind of pain herself.  
"Helga?" I say to her, hoping she'll answer me. I see her head move in the dark.  
"Arnold?" she replies hoarsly, and I get off the couch, walking blindly before turning on a nearby lamp. Softly diffused  
light spilled into the room and I she her face fully again. Her eyes are red and swollen, but still beautiful. Her salt-streaked  
face looks at me sadly as fresh tears melt in her eyes, rolling down her flushed cheeks.We look at eachother, and niether   
one of us knows what to say. I can't stand seeing her like this, and all I want to do is to make all of her problems go away.  
But I don't know how.  
So, what do I do now?  
  
~*~End of Chapter Five~*~  
Yay! Next stop, Chapter Six! I know this was probably crap to you guys, but I've been going through some major  
writer's block, plus I've been sick :::sniffle...::: So what did you guys think of it? Don't forget to R&R ^_~ If   
you didn't like this chapter, I promise a better Chapter Six soon, promise!  
Till soon, Wishin you  
Luv  
Life  
Luck  
n' Lafta  
~*~CD~*~  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Understanding Helga

Final Part! Final Part! Gonna be a very LONG final part...but FINAL PART! Sorry this took SO  
long, guys. My homeworks building up on me again :::Pouts::: Anyways, here goes, the last  
chapter (and I hope you don't hate it) Of Understanding Helga...  
Disclaimer- If I own Hey Arnold, then I've also gotta dance club hiding under my bed.  
  
~*~Understanding Helga~*~  
Chapter Six- Understanding Helga  
  
  
I bury my face into my hands, hoping that he would leave me alone. Please, just make him go away. Without  
warning, he sits down on the bed and puts his arms around me. I'm so dizzied by his presence that I feel like  
I'm falling. I snap myself out of it. Yeah, Helga, this would be impressive IF he liked you. But I don't want to  
move. I won't move. I don't care if he doesn't feel anything for me. I still love him, and I'm going to drain  
every last drop of closness from this moment that I can. I rest my head on his shoulder and he smooths down  
my hair. I want to look up at him, but the meer sight of his innocent face brings me to tears,  
"Helga..." he whispers into my ear tenderly, like he would do for anyone, "What happened? What's wrong?"  
I have to stop crying, he doesn't want to see this, this has to be uncomfortable for him. Besides, I'm Helga G.   
Pataki! Crying is beneeth me! What's wrong with me?!  
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I sob into his neck, I can feel my tears falling from me onto him. Please let him forgive  
me, I didn't mean to cause all this trouble for him...What am I on about? Helga LIVES to cause trouble  
for Arnold. Oh, come on Helga! Suck it up, you braindead Brat!  
"Shhh...you have nothing to be sorry for. Please, Helga, tell me, what's the matter?" he comforts, hugging my  
tighter until I finally put my arms around his neck and hug him back. If only this didn't feel so good.  
I let out a ragged sigh and spoke,  
"Arnold...please, just... I don't want you to see me..." I break into tears again and pull myself closer to him.  
"Helga, it's okay to cry...But Helga, I need to know why." I kept on crying, tears flooding down my red-hot  
cheeks. My temples pound like a drum and my heart aches like never before, But I stay quiet.   
There's something going on in my head. Some sort of power control fight. It's hard to explain. On one   
hand, I wanna kill this stupid Footballhead for getting so cozy with me and watching me blubber like an  
idiot, but on the other, I want to pull him close and kiss him like I should've up on roof. But which side is winning?  
Arnold lets go of me with one arm. He puts his free hand under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his gaze.  
I look away and become instantly facinated with a wall. Oh, I hate him! Why should I have to avert my eyes?  
"Helga, look at me." he urges. And, stupid me, I do as he says. He's faint and blurred through my watery gaze,  
but I can still sence his genuine concern. Naturally, this is Arnold, he's concerned about anyone and anything  
that crosses his path. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he have let me deal with my sham of a life   
on my own instead of bringing me here to have a breakdown in his room in the middle of the night?  
"You should have let me stay where I was." I sob to him hoarsly, voicing my thoughts. He had begun  
to take a on a semi-recognisible shape to my eyes, and I watched his reaction. He looked at me strangly, and  
brushed some of the hair that had fallen into my face away, tucking it behind my ear carefully,  
"You know I couldn't do that, why would I?" he says to me. He was perfectly visable by now, still in his   
normal clothes. I realised I was, too. He continues,  
"Helga, you're my friend, you know that I'll always help you."   
I looked at him solomly, thinking of how I felt right now, and who had made me feel that way. Him.  
"Maybe you weren't helping." I say, pulling away from him, though I regreted doing so so much that it actually   
caused pain. I know I can't really blame this on him. He doesn't know what's going on. He's just being  
himself. He moves closer and pulls me back into his arms. I dig my feet into the carpet, to make sure I'm  
not floating... stop it Helga! You mean nothing to him, remember?! He looks down at me,  
"Why wasn't I? Helga, tell me." he whispers to me, sending shivers up and down my spine. I pick myself  
up a little so that I was at his eye level. The sudden craving to tell him everything was becoming overwhelming,  
and I prepared myself to tell him all he could hear,  
"You've never felt what it's like to be alone." a lone tear slides down my cheek, and I brush it away scornfully,  
"To be unnoticed by the people who should care about you most." I explain to him, and he looked down on me  
warmly, though slightly sad,  
"Helga, you're not alone--"  
"Yes I am." I mumble to him. I hug him as tightly as I dare. AM I CRAZY!? Let go of him! Let go of him NOW!  
"I must've done horrible things, Arnold, because it always comes back to me. That's why I'm so...I'm so..." my  
voice breaks and I let out a whimper. God, what am I? A lost dog? SHUT UP HELGA! YOU SOUND  
PATHEDIC! I try to scowl at him, glare at him, SOMETHING! But...nothing comes out. I guess that   
answers my question on which side of my mind is winning.  
"What, Helga?" He asks, looking into my eyes.  
"So..." I breathe, and search my mind for what I thought of myself.  
Finally, I find the right word,  
"Worthless." I say.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I almost choke when I hear her say that and look at her closly. No, she's not telling the truth!  
She is.  
But, it isn't true! "No Helga, you're not," I tell her. Her eyes are still watery, and I have the urge to get rid of her  
tears. I want to destroy anything that makes her sad. I just want to see her smile. She's hugging me closly, and  
I suppose it should be painful, but I wouldn't trade this in for anything. I don't know what's going on. I should be  
acting like her brother, her friend, in time like this. But for some reason, I can't seem to get over the fact of how...  
amazing she is...I don't know. It's just that she's looking at me with so much saddness,  
and all I want to do is find a way to assure her that everything will be alright,  
"I must be," she replies. I try to get closer to her, but find that's not really possible, we're already as close as we can be.  
"Helga," I whisper to her, "Look at yourself. You're talented, you're smart, you alway's there when people need you,  
and, when you're not doing whatever 'mean' act you put up to the world, you're one of the most likeable people  
I've ever met." I tilt my head in uncomphension, "How can you call yourself worthless?" She was silent.  
That was supposed to make her feel better, and it was all true, every word. Except I had left out how   
beautiful she is. I didn't want to say that, because I   
still remember what happened when I did a few hours ago. I ran my fingers through her hair, feeling the texture  
and watching the dim light play off its shine. So soft, there was no way this could be real. I remember that  
she smelt wonderful on the roof, the scent was stronger now I was going through the mind-wracking task of  
trying to figure out what it was. Vanilla maybe? No, it was sweeter. This is almost like being in a dream. I  
feel...lightheaded, and it's not because of any soap or perfume of hers... What is this?! I've been trying to think  
of the way I feel for so long, but I can't come up with anything! The strange jumps in my chest, the way I always  
want to be close to her, the way my palms are sweating right now, the way I feel strangly calm...whole,  
when I'm close to her. The way I love everything about Helga!  
Hang on a minute...There's a simpler way of saying that, I'm sure there is...  
Let's see...The way I love everything about Helga...  
"Do you mean that, Arnold?"  
I love Everything about HELGA?!  
"Arnold?"  
I LOVE HELGA?!?!  
"ARNOLD?!" Helga's voice shouts to me, and I bolt back into the real world,  
"Huh?" I mumble, looking at her. No, it isn't true. I don't LOVE her...do I? What does Love feel like?  
I mean this kind of Love...Wait, why do I even care?! Maybe it's too late at night, I'm not thinking  
rationally. How could I LOVE Helga G. Pataki?! Just because she's the most...  
Snap OUT OF IT Arnold!  
"Do you mean it?" she asks me again. Do I mean it? I don't know, this is different then what I felt for Ruth,   
Summer, even Lila. I look at her, and I'm once again hit with the force of her electric eyes, peering at me from  
underneeth her long, sweeping eyelashes. Her face is hidden under her thick gold curls. She smiled at me, and  
I can swear she's blushing. Do I mean it?  
"Yes, I do." I reply astonishedly. She thinks I'm talking about what I said about her before. But I'm not. She  
rests her head on my shoulder again, and I get that dizzy, soaring feeling again, only now, I know why. Am I  
going insane? No, I've just...fallen in Love with Helga. If Gerald were here right now, he'd tell me it's the same  
thing. At least, I think it's Love. I don't have anything to compare it to. But I know it's strong, and it makes  
you feel weak. And I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am right now. Yes, I do love her. And if I don't  
love her, then I like her more then...anything else I can think of right now. But I would be even happier If she  
wasn't still close to tears. I mentally kicked myself for not telling her what I thought of her before this happened.  
Wait, I just remembered it! What I was trying to tell her before she fell asleep! I know what I was going to say!  
"I think I love you." I whisper silently to myself. Helga looked up at me innocently and I broke into a sweat.   
Had she heard me?  
"What did you say, Arnold?" she asked curiously. I held my breath,  
"You didn't hear me?"  
She shook her head, and I was finally able to exhale. I'm glad she didn't hear, because I don't want her to know.   
I mean, come on, this is Helga. Up until tonight, we were a hair away from being enemies. How can I tell her  
that I love her now? She'd probably laugh in my face! Okay, maybe not, she's too nice for that, but she would   
still turn me down. And I'm not sure if I could take that.  
"Well, c'mon, what did you say?" She repeated, "I want to know."   
Oh no, I have to think of a way to get out of this! Red Alert!  
"No!" I say nervously, then compose myself. "I'd...I'd rather talk about you." I answer truthfully.  
She bit her lip and frowned. Great, she's sad again. Arnold, can't you get anything right?!  
"What's there to say?" she asked me, laughing sadly, "I'm ignored and looked over. No one see's me for who  
I am, they just want to see the bully. So that's who I give them, because It's so much easier for them to   
hate someone they don't know, isn't it?" she let out a faint sigh and I looked into her eyes, shining with tears.  
Who did this to her? I'll make them pay for hurting her like this!  
"Helga, no one hates you." I tell her  
she scoffs quietly, "That's a lie, and you know it."  
"No it--"  
"It's this one huge act I have to put on everyday, and I just can't anymore!" she continued, inturpting me,  
"Everyday, I always have to be the girl everyone wants to see. Criminey, I'm a trained preformer! And it's  
just..it's just...." She blinked to keep her renewed tears from spilling. It didn't work, they flooded  
her face anyways. I kept my arms around her tigthly as she sagged against me.  
"It's my own fault that nobody loves me." she murmured to me. I invoulentarily gasp, forcing her to look at me.  
"Don't say that!" I scold her, releasing one of my hands and wiping away her tears.  
"It's TRUE." she persists miserably. I force my mouth into a determined line, even though I'm terrified by the fact  
that this blameless girl--The girl I love-- thinks it's her fault that people hurt her,  
"Helga, I never want you to say that again." I command her patiently, "I never want you to even think that   
again. People DO love you, Helga. And you don't have to act the way anyone wants you to be. You're  
not them, you don't have to make them happy. No one's asked you to preform for whatever....jerks that  
expect you to be however they think you should act!" I finish with a glare to the sky, for whoever was   
making Helga think this way. She sat there, wide-eyed from my outburst, and shakes her head wearily.  
"Name one." she says finally, and I look at her questioningly,  
"Name one what?" I ask,  
"You said there are people who love me. Well, name one." and she looks at me, waiting for an answer.  
Me! I love you! If she only knew! But how can I tell her? I want to, but there's this part of my mind that   
KNOWS I'd just be setting myself up for Rejection.  
"Your Parents." I answer automaticly, probably not the greatest example, and we both knew it.  
"If they do they don't show it. Mirium's got her smoothies, and Bob's got his job. They don't know my age,  
Heck, they don't even know my Birthday. Next." she returns boredly, acting like she didn't care. But she does.  
"You're Sister." again, another automatic responce from me.  
"She's more interested in getting me to be a little version of herself. As long as I stay quiet and she get's her  
way, she couldn't care less. Next." she says cooly, her tone flat. Why is she trying to prove to me she doesn't feel?  
"Phoebe." I try. Her best friend, she couldn't argue with that.  
"Only likes me for protection. She's to shy to stand up to me, that's the only reason we're friends." Okay,   
maybe she could. But what about me?! Come on Arnold, tell her!  
"What about--"  
"Look, Arnold." she cut in, her face now dry and emotionless, "I appriciate what you're trying to do, really.  
But truth is truth, nobody..." she struggled for a second, but maintained an uncaring deminor, "...loves me.   
It's really okay, I've had lots of time to get used to it. Just let me worry about myself, okay?" She let  
go of me and got up off the bed. It actually...caused pain, not to have her there anymore.  
"But what if someone does love you?" I say, standing up, ready to bring her close again, "What would  
you do then?" she crosses her arms and shakes her head again,  
"If anyone could, I'd like to meet them." and with that, she turns away, and climbs back onto the roof,  
leaving me alone. I sunk down into the bed, lying my head down on the pillow. The same pillow she had used  
hours before. I don't know what to do. How do I make her see? She doesn't have to put up an act with me.  
I don't care if she's not tough and strong. I don't care if she can't put up a fight with everyone. I don't care  
if she has to cry, just as long as it's still her. I look back on this night, and I suddenly find myself recieting  
the lines of the poem she had written, at the begining of this,  
"I weep by a fountain of blood and tears..." I say to the silence, "I breathe in the world of shattered  
dreams. My tears are my soul, pushed back for so long. Let it out...Let it out."  
I stare at the sky. Why can she only make people see herself on a piece of paper? Doesn't she know that  
if she was just herself, people would see what I see in her?...No, maybe she doesn't. Maybe the poem's  
are the only way she has. But why the mean act? Well, that's simple. She doesn't want to make herself look   
vulnerable. To think she's spent all this time building up this wall around herself from the rest of the world. And  
I've probably been one of the only people to ever get past it. I actually saw her cry. I don't think I can find  
ANYONE who's actually seen her cry. But now's she's distanced herself again. Up on the roof, by herself.  
What if she's cold? What if she's crying again? What if she needs someone to be there with her?! This is too  
much. All because she doesn't want people to see how fragile she really is. She thinks that if she's cruel and   
unkind, no one'll try and get close to her, and no one'll know what she's truly thinking, then nobody  
will know all the damage they've done. So, when she's mean, it's just a way to keep people out of her life!  
It's because of all these secrets she keeps to herself that are hurting her so much!  
I shot up with a start.  
Did I just get it?  
Did I just find Helga's reason?  
I went through my resoning again. Yes, it makes sence! I finally know! All she need's is a person to make  
her feel loved, but at the same time she's pushing everyone away because she thinks no one can love her!  
But...I love her.   
I get off the bed and begin climbling up to the roof. I don't care what she thinks of me. She need's me. I need  
her. And I understand her now. When I reach the roof, I see her immediatly. She's stading in the exact place   
that we...kissed. I could almost slap myself now for pulling away from her. She looks at me as I shut the part  
of the glass ceiling.  
"Arnold?" she asks, unbielieving, like she think's I'll dissapear at any moment. My stomach does a backflip.  
Okay, I've gotten this far, now it's all up to my bravery reserves. I run up to her quickly, and she looks at me  
quizically. I must've gone up to roof to fast, because I'm breathing heavily. I wrap my arms around her waist,  
while still trying to catch my breath,  
"...Me." I tell her, and she looks even more confused. I can't help but smile. She's adorable when she's confused.  
"Arnold, what do you--" I don't let her finish. I kiss her. The energy I felt that once made me want to back   
away, now makes me want to stay there forever. She's warm, which offsets the cold night perfectly, and the  
calm, yet exciting feeling washes over me again. And she has her arms around me, too. She's kissing me back.  
For the first time in my life, I forget about everything else in the world.   
And it's just me and Helga, here.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
HE'S KISSING ME!!! I can't breathe, I can't move. All I can do is kiss him back. I could never imagine  
anyhthing like this, in all my dreams. Arnold, the heavenly, virtuous Arnold. I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.  
It feels like I'm flying. I never want to come down. Finally, we gradually pulled away, breathing hard,  
"Me..." Arnold repeats breathlessly, "...I love you."  
I feel my eyes widen and my mouth drop open. Did he just say...  
"Y-you..." I stammar. He chuckles,  
"...Love you." he finishes with a sheepish smile spread across his face.  
"And..." I say uncertainly. I can tell him, I can at last let him know!  
"A-and?" he asks, a look of nevousness crossing him.   
I smile brightly and giggle, reeling with radient thoughts of my wish that just came true,  
"...And, I love you too!" I exclaim. Like it's some, freeing confession. That's because it is!  
His flawless green eyes radiate the love I've been hoping from him for so long, and I throw my arms  
around him quickly. I sighed peacefully, to caught up in us to care about anything else. He led me   
back down to his room, where I lay back down on his bed, closing my eyes in supreme adore,  
"I never thought tonight would go this way." I confess to him. I can feel him smile down at me,  
"Neither did I." he admits. I feel his hand brush my cheek,  
"No more hiding from people?" He says. It was more of a statement then a question.  
"Arnold..." I begin warningly  
he laughs, "Fine, at least from me, then."  
I smile, suddenly very sleeply, "No, not from you." I say to him, curling myself into a blissful ball.  
After a while, I realize he's still looking at me, and I grin softly, "Get a kick outta watching me fall asleep,  
Footballhead?" I tease playfully, "Go, you need sleep too."  
He gets up, still laughing, and turns off the light, going back to the couch,  
"Sweet Dreams, Helga." he calls to me. But I'm already half asleep, and too tired to answer him back.  
But Dreams? Who needs Dreams? I've got mine in the real world.  
Arnold.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
..........  
I open my eyes and wince at the bright light that pours into my room. It's Saturday morning. I hoist myself up  
from the couch and rub my eyes, yawning as well. Couch? What am I doing on the couch? I hear a   
gentel hum come from my bed and I look over to see what the cause of it is.  
Helga?!  
Last night suddenly came rushing back to my mind, filling my head with it's memories.   
Helga!  
I smiled and crept up to where she slept, hoping not to wake her. Her angelic look that I'd found the first  
time while wathching her sleep is still notable. And with the sun shining down on her, refracting off her hair,  
it gave her almost an ethreal glow. I placed a slow, light kiss on her cheek. I had to, it was too irresistable.  
She woke up slowly, stretching her arms out and taking a deep breath,  
"Arnold..." she breathes out contentedly,  
"Yes?" I answer.  
Her eyes flutter open and look at me with shock, "Arnold!" she gasps  
I grin, "Who did you expect?"  
Her eyes search the room, glazed over in panic. Then, she remember's last night's events, and holds  
her hand to her heart, looking back at me,  
"I thought I'd gone insane for a second there."  
Huh, that's strange. Why would she say my name in her sleep if she didn't remember what happened last  
night? Oh well, doesn't matter.  
We went downstairs and ate breakfast. We didn't need to change, because we were both still in my clothes that  
we had first changed into. It was only about 8:50 in the morning, but grandma was up, cooking and  
frying things up with a coat of armour on. Today she was Joan of Arc. Helga smiled and asked her how the  
Revolution was going. I just laughed. When Grandpa came down and saw me and Helga talking, he  
got that funny gleam in his eye again and repeated 'I'm such a wily old coot' to himself a few times.  
When Ernie and Mr. Hyunh showed up, they just took a long look at us, then winked at eachother.  
We both blushed. Is it that obvious? After we were done, Grandma gave Helga her clothes. She changed  
back into them, but left her hair down and the bow out of it. I walked Helga home then. I didn't actually  
want her to go, but we both knew she'd have to go home sometime. As we're walking, I silently take  
her hand, tracing the graceful, slender fingers as I had done before. She looks at me and giggles cheerfully,  
not even metioning it, and her talking continues. It was almost disapointing when we reached her house.  
Who am I kidding, it IS disapointing. We climb up the steps together and she looks at me,  
"So..." she says shyly,  
"So..." I say dreamily.  
We stand there, not knowing what to do from here. Suddenly, Helga get a mischivious look in her eyes.  
I smile unknowingly. What's she up to?  
She smiled gleefully, and before I knew it, she was kissing me. My eyes widen, but quickly shut, my  
brain informing my weakening knees to stay up and let me enjoy this moment. She pulls away happily,  
leaving my scences in a whirl,  
"Love ya', Arnold!" she says impishly, opening the already-unlocked door and closing it slowly.  
I stumble down the steps, and look back to her house,  
"Love you too, Helga." I say.  
I walked back home in my own dream. It was still pretty early, and none of the gang was out yet.  
If they had been, they would have come across a slightly dizzy-looking me. Head in the clouds,  
lovestruck grin on my face. I somehow found my way back home and floated up the steps to my  
room. When I got there, I absent-mindedly began to fold the clothes she had worn, when I felt  
something in one of the jean pockets. I reach inside, curious as to what she would've put in there.  
I look in my hand, and had to sit down quickly from surpurise.  
I held there her hair ties, her Pink Bow...and a heart-shaped locket, the locket that I had mysteriously  
found and Grandpa had mysteriously lost, with my picture it it. I looked into space and started laughing,  
because I knew. Helga had intentionally left these things here. She meant for me to find them. She meant  
for me to know.  
She had loved me before I loved her.  
And she KNEW I was going to rush right over to her  
house again to ask her about it. Maybe that was the whole point why she'd kept it there.  
...so I stepped back out of the house, making my way to Helga's once again, the locket in my hand. As  
I did, I look up at the clear blue sky. You would've never known there was a storm last night from what a relaxing,  
sunny morning it was now. I smile to myself as I take another look at her locket. Another one of her  
secrets uncovered. But is it the last? I don't know, and I don't want to know, yet.  
My smile widens, and I start running, saying a joyful 'Hello' to everyone I pass. I was in a mood that only  
the girl you love can put you in. I was in a mood that people got in when they were getting closer to  
solving the most important puzzle in thier lives. The one that matters most to them.  
Maybe I don't fully understand Helga yet...but I'm sure going to have fun doing it!   
  
~*~THE END!!!~*~  
  
YES!!!! I AM FINISHED!!!! :::Bows::: Whew, that was tiring. See how long this is? See why it took me  
so long to update? I'm a bit unsure of this ending, actually. Did I do anything wrong? I've got a lot of  
other stories in my head, so don't condem me if you didn't like the way this one turned out. Yup guys,  
I'm gonna ask you to REVIEW (Pretty Please?) But I also wanna get down on my hands and knees and  
send out a big THANK YOU to everyone out there who's reviewed this story, and even sent me e-mail about it!  
all the way back to the time when we all thought this thing would be two chapter's long! So look for my  
new stories! There'll definitly be one coming called, "Dance with Me" (hehehe...I'm not hinting to the plot!)  
And I hoped you liked my first Multi-parter!  
Till soon (And don't think it won't be SOON, you can't get rid of me!)  
Wishin' u,  
Luv  
Life  
Luck  
n' Lafta'  
  
~*~C.D~*~ 


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